After the Yule Ball - Torchwood Sample Chapter by gphoenix51

Rating: R
Genres: Romance, Action & Adventure
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 30/06/2008
Last Updated: 30/06/2008
Status: Completed

Rated R for Naughty Language only. Warning, slight spoilers for the rest of my Torchwood fic,
though by the time I’m finished writing it and finally post it, I’m sure everyone whose read this
will have forgotten the minor spoilers) Harry and Hermione have just finished their 6th Year Yule
Ball. Harry has many things he needs to get off his chest before entering into a relationship with
Hermione, along with one big secret that could destroy it forever. (Slight Ginger Bashing,
Dumbledore bashing)




1. After the Yule Ball - Torchwood Sample Chapter
-------------------------------------------------



**Title:** **After the** **Yule Ball** **(****Torchwood Sample Chapter)**

**Author:** gphoenix51

**Author E-Mail:** gphoenix51@gmail.com

**Category:** Action/Romance/Humor

**Rated:** R for Innuendo and Naughty Language…lots of Naughty Language

**Pairing:** H/Hr…duh. Are there any others?

**Spoilers:** Books 1-5, because the series mysteriously ended after book 5.

**Disclaimer:** All copyrighted products, movies, music, TV shows, comics, books, and any
other Brand Names are the properties of their specific companies. All Harry Potter characters and
places belong to JK Rowling. All original work and characters in this story are copyrighted by me,
gphoenix51© 2008-2009.

**Summary:** **(Warning, slight spoilers for the rest of my Torchwood fic, though by the
time I'm finished writing it and finally post it, I'm sure everyone whose read this will
have forgotten the minor spoilers)** Harry and Hermione have just finished their 6th Year Yule
Ball. Harry has many things he needs to get off his chest before entering into a relationship with
Hermione, along with one big secret that could destroy their budding romance.

**A/N:** This story originated as a Challenge that I submitted. I had read a few
Vigilante!Harry type stories and got an idea for this challenge. Unfortunately, no one took me up
on it, so I decided to write it myself. Though I'm kinda glad, now that I'm so far into it,
no one would have written it the way I want to write it :P The Challenge is here
(http://talk.portkey.org/index.php?showtopic=27017). My story will be slightly different than the
original Challenge, but a story is always in flux apparently, considering the times I've
written and re-written this fic. I hope you enjoy!


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The Room of Requirement opened, and inside was exactly what he imagined. *“Ex**cellent
job yet again, Room.**”* Harry thought, his eyes tracking over the candles on stands placed
around the room and the lit fireplace. The Gryffindor red loveseat right in the middle, bathed in
the soft romantic glow. Harry led Hermione inside, the door softly closing behind them. Mentally,
he willed the room to lockdown, and watched as the door disappeared. He caught Hermione's
raised eyebrow.

“Ulterior motives for bringing me here, Mr. Potter?” Hermione smirked at him.

Harry gave a soft laugh, “I'd rather not get cursed into the next world on a presumption
Miss Granger. I want to tell you something, something very important. And I don't want any
redheads, with their *legendary* bad timing, crashing the party, or anyone else for that
matter.” Harry smirked at her, watching the laughter in her eyes.

“Besides, if *that's* what I brought you up here for, there'd be a bed instead of a
loveseat.” Harry teased. Her eyebrows winged up at that, and then she got a mischievous glint in
her eye.

“I'm sure we could make the loveseat live up to its name, Harry.” Hermione teased back.
Having no clever response to that, owing to the fact of several images that flashed into his mind
at that moment, Harry swallowed heavily. Finding the collar of his dress uniform rather tight at
the moment, he popped the first three buttons and took some deep breaths.

Hermione, on the other hand, was quite enjoying the slightly stunned look on Harry's face,
and his sudden need for air. She watched as he walked over to the loveseat, un-buckling his sword
belt, and hanging his rapier on the sword rack that appeared near the small couch.

“Let's have a seat, Mione. Like I said before, I've got some important things to tell
you, and I doubt I'll be able to stand through most of it.” Harry said, looking at her with a
slightly panicked expression. He walked to the loveseat and dropped into it, facing the fire and
looked over at her.

Hermione nodded, slightly concerned with the look on his face. Walking toward him, her matching
black and silver dress made swishing noises as she moved. When she got there, Hermione kicked off
her shoes and hiked up her dress so that she could sit comfortably. But instead of sitting down
next to him, she surprised Harry by sitting on his lap, knees on either side of his legs so she
could face him.

*“**Thankfully,**”* Harry thought, *“s**he's not sitting*
*directly* *on my lap. I wouldn't be able to concentrate otherwise.**”* Hermione
took his hands in hers, and looked expectantly at him.

“You are absolutely beautiful, Hermione.” Harry said, looking into her eyes.

“You didn't have to bring me here to tell me that, but thank you, and it's about time
you noticed, Harry.” Hermione said, a soft smile playing at her lips as she stared back into his
eyes.

Harry sighed, *“S**he doesn't know how right she is, but she's about to find
out.**”* “Yeah, it is. For a long time now, whenever I've seen you, your beauty simply
floors me. And I hate myself Hermione; I hate myself for not noticing you sooner, for having been
blinded for so long. Not only your beauty, which is breathtaking, but everything else about you.”
Harry said all this in a rush.

Hermione looked at him in confusion, “Hate yourself? What are you talking about, Harry?”

He had to tell her, he wanted her to know what she meant to him, before his courage left him.
The smart ass voice in his mind snarked, *“H**ave no problem standing up to Draco or
Snivellus or fucking Dumbledore even**.* *A**s Torchwood**,* *I've
stared down Death Eaters, Vampires, Lycans, Trolls, Dementors, Zombies and who knows what else, and
killed them all without faltering. Looking into Hermione Jane Granger's eyes and not only
telling her how beautiful she is, but* **why** *she's so beautiful and perfect, and how
much of a bastard I've been to her**,* *is absolutely terrifying.**”* But
Harry resolved to do this, he had to tell her, she had to know how much she meant to him, and how
horrible he felt for taking her for granted for so long.

Harry began, “Hermione, I hate myself because I've taken your friendship for granted. I
should've known better. I never had any friends before Hogwarts, and each one I've made,
Hagrid, Hedwig, Ron, Neville, Fred, George, Luna, Tonks, Remus, Dobby, Winky, Crookshanks…and most
especially, You, Hermione Granger. Every single one, I should have treated as a priceless treasure.
I should have never ignored any of you, should never have laughed at Luna, pitied Neville or any of
the other horrible things I've done to them all. Except Ron, his jealousy and just plain being
a right prick is starting to make me wish I'd never been his friend.” Hermione was about to
speak, but the plea in his eyes must have stopped her. *“D**on't stop me now Mione, I
won't be able to continue if you do.**”*

“But mostly Hermione, I wish I had never taken *you* for granted. I wish I had never
ignored you or acted like such a bastard in our first year. Even before we were friends, you only
ever had my well being at heart, you only ever tried to help me, to keep me out of the trouble that
I should never have gotten into in the first place. If I had, I would have actually done something
when Ron said those horrible things about you; I would have punched him out for one. But I would
have also followed you, tried to beat you to that bathroom if I could, and if I couldn't, I
would have followed you in and tried to apologize. I still cannot believe I just went off to the
damn feast, knowing how much he had upset you. If I had managed to do something, you wouldn't
have almost died because of that damn troll. You would never have been in danger at all if I had
tried to do anything about it before hand.”

“Second year, I knew, better than anyone, who the targets for the Basilisk were. Muggleborns
Hermione, and if I hadn't had my head so far up my ass, I would have known that *you* were
the biggest target in the school; the fact that you hadn't been attacked sooner is a fucking
miracle. I should never have left you alone; I should never have left you to wander the corridors
by yourself. You wouldn't have gotten petrified; you wouldn't have been trapped in that
Hospital wing for weeks. Even now Hermione, I can still clearly picture you there, frozen, and it
breaks my heart. I wanted so much for you to come back to me, I guess then I started to realize
just how much you really mean to me.” Hermione could feel tears beginning to run down her face, but
she didn't interrupt. Harry was grateful, the sight of Hermione crying was already making this
harder, he wanted to stop and comfort her, but he had to get it all out now. He had to get this
poison that had been tainting his soul out before his nerve left him.

“Third year was horrible Hermione. You were already stressed with that insane schedule and
looking up defense information for Hagrid. If I had been more of a friend, I would have helped. I
would have actually been a friend to you and helped you. I realize I probably couldn't have
gotten you to give up the Time Turner, or at least drop a class or two and ease the strain. But I
could have helped with Beaky's defense, and not abandoned you over a *goddamn*
broomstick…” Now, Hermione did interrupt.

“But Harry, that was from Sirius…” She started, but Harry cut across her.

“I know that now, and I *will* always treasure it. He gave it to me before we'd even
met. Well, I should say met again. I've got the pictures of when he and Remus were holding me
as a baby. We didn't know each other yet, and he still gave me something I will treasure
always. But Hermione, it's still just a *broomstick*. A bundle of twigs and a handle made
of wood that someone charmed to fly. It isn't a *person*, Hermione, it isn't my best
friend, it wasn't *You*.” Harry said vehemently. Her tears had started again, sparkling in
the firelight of the Room of Requirement, but Harry pushed on, concentrating on Hermione's
eyes, losing himself in them.

“It wasn't important enough to abandon you Hermione. It wasn't important enough to add
even more stress, when you were already killing yourself with the Time Turner. I may have been a
thick headed git, but even *I* noticed what it was doing to you, even if I didn't know
what it was. You were barely sleeping, you barely ate, all you did was work, and it was slowly
killing you Hermione. Even now, when I remember it, all I want to do is go back to those moments
and beat my younger self's head in. For daring to abandon you, for daring to leave you in that
hell and not do anything about it. For daring to make it worse by siding with Ron over a bunch of
sticks and wood. I realize now that you cared for me so much, that you'd sacrifice our
friendship to keep me safe, to keep me alive. You cared for me so much, you did what was right and
had that highly suspicious gift tested for jinxes and curses. You remembered, even when *I*
didn't and they happened to *me* for God's sake; you remembered the jinxed broom from
first year that almost killed me. You remembered Dobby's bludger in second year that caused me
to lose all the bones in my arm. You remembered the Dementor attack earlier that third year that
damn near killed me because I was on a broom. You knew that the perfect way for anyone wishing me
harm was through brooms or Quidditch. How many times have I been hurt because of that game? How
many times have I almost died because of a little golden ball?” Harry shook his head, he didn't
want her to answer him, they both knew the answer.

“Too many times, which is one reason I gave up the game. I'll always enjoy flying, but the
threat of Riddle and his minions have made me realize what's important and what isn't, and
risking my neck playing a stupid game when I could be training for the upcoming fight makes no
sense to me anymore. But that isn't what I wanted to talk about, I wanted to tell you how much
you mean to me, and how sorry I am for taking you for granted for so long.” Hermione nodded slowly,
slow tears still tracking down her face.

“After I got my stupid broom back, I wanted to make up with you. I had realized by then, however
faintly, that you did what you did to help me. I was this close too; I was at least talking to you
again, though I probably went too fast by immediately suggesting you drop some classes. Then Ron
and that accursed rat of his had to go and ruin everything, and my misguided loyalty to him kept me
away. I still can't believe how much of a jackass I was, and it makes me care for you even more
because, even then, you never gave up on me. And I'll never be able to thank you enough for
that, for believing enough in me, for trusting that I'd eventually stop being a prat.” She
smiled a little at that, and it made his heart lighter.

“Fifth year, I'll get back to fourth, it's the worst one. Fifth year Hermione, after
seeing Riddle rise again, watching Cedric die because I insisted he take the cup with me. A cup I
never wanted in the first place. I realize now that had I made him take it alone, he probably still
would have died. Wormtail wouldn't have wanted any witnesses. Anyway, that summer I felt so
alone, so lost, so abandoned. I let my emotions run away with me, thinking I had been tossed aside
by everyone who knew me. That sensible voice in my head, that sounds just like you by the way, was
telling me that there was a perfectly logical explanation for what was going on. But my anger
wouldn't listen; I really don't have any real idea where it all came from, Mione. I just
felt…so…*angry*, all the time. Anger at everything, the whole world and everyone in it. I
realize now that it was all Dumbledore's fault, but I didn't know it then. My anger made
all kinds of insane notions, like how because of what I went through in the graveyard, that maybe
my friends had left me…” Hermione slowly shook her head, and caressed Harry's cheek.

“Never Harry, I'll never abandon you. Never.” His heart leapt, and he nodded.

“I know that Hermione, I can't thank you enough for it, and I swear to God I'll never
abandon you again. I'll never *think* that way, ever again. Not when it comes to you. I
knew it then as well, but like I said, my anger was like a demon on my shoulder, whispering in my
ear. Telling me that my friends and mentors must have left me, must not trust me, must think
there's something wrong with me. Otherwise, why would they keep sending back letters with no
information? Why would they not tell me anything, why would I be kept in the dark? I know now the
reason, as do you. The Prophecy, and Dumbledore's misguided attempts to keep me safe. Safe
maybe, unless you count a pair of Dementors almost killing me and my cousin. Did I ever tell you
that it was *you* who saved me from them? Your face was the memory that I was able to use to
fight the Dementors, to summon my father to protect me.”

She shook her head; he hadn't ever told her that. Harry wasn't surprised, and he told
her so “I didn't really tell you much of anything that year, did I Mione? Everywhere, it seemed
the walls were closing in on me, Fudge telling the world I was an attention seeking brat on the
verge of a mental breakdown, that bitch Umbridge backing him up, telling the school that
Riddle's return was a lie, calling me a liar to my face, preying on my already frayed nerves
and fears. The school believing it, the teachers forced to keep their distance from me. Dumbledore
not wanting to talk to me, Dumbledore refusing to even look me in the eye. Umbridge taking over,
making it a crime to even breathe loudly, forcing me to slice my hand open night after night, all
for the crime of telling the truth.” Hermione's hands fisted on his shoulders, and she pulled
him into a tight hug. Harry savored the feel of her, her warmth, her closeness, her desire to help
him, even now, when the pain was long gone. But the scars would always remain. She pulled back,
eyes rimmed in red from her tears that were still steadily making their way down her face. Harry
wanted to stop then, wanted to brush her tears away, but he knew he couldn't, not yet anyway.
He had to finish, had to try to explain why he did what he did that year.

“And there I was, taking it out on my best friend. You, who mean the whole world to me. I yelled
at you, I accused you of things; I pushed you away when all you wanted was to help me. I've
been a horrible friend, Hermione. There are days when I wake up and wonder why you haven't just
given up on me, as horrible as I've been to you all these years. I don't know if I could
have been as strong as you. If I'd been friends with me, and I kept getting slapped down for
trying to help, I'd probably have given up by now. And yet, even when I did nothing but make
your life miserable, you helped me yet again. You were the one who thought up the DA, you were the
one who organized it; you were the one who convinced me to teach and then convinced others to
listen. I never told you how amazing you were, never told you how much the DA meant to me, how much
easier it made things, being able to fight back, being able to rebel against the regime that had
taken over and terrorized the school. Never told you, My Captain, my second in command…” Hermione
smiled at this, she felt a flare of pleasure at being called his second in command, the Captain of
the DA to his General.

“It was my duty and honour, General.” Hermione said smiling. Harry smirked, knowing that only
she could call him that and not make it sound ridiculous. Only she could make it sound like
something to live up to, to aspire to. Harry continued.

“Never told you, that without the DA, without *you*, I would have long gone insane before
that year was over. With Snivellus having been sanctioned to attacking my mind every week, under
the fragile excuse of “teaching” me Occlumency, it just made my frayed and frazzled nerves worse.
And only the DA, and you, helped. But, even then I had to go screw everything up by letting that
stupid crush on Cho get in the way of things. You even helped with that, as much as my bumbling
idiocy would allow.”

Hermione frowned, remembering quite well the time before Christmas when Harry had come back from
the DA meeting looking shell shocked. Instantly she knew what that had to mean, and it had torn her
heart, realizing that his first kiss would never be with her. Talking him through what Cho was
feeling was excruciating, she remembered how her voice was clipped and business like, never
betraying the pain she felt, and all the while she was bleeding inside. She also remembered quite
well, later that night, after she had left to go to bed. Hermione had closed her four poster's
curtains, cast a *Silencio* and cried herself to sleep.

Harry mentally flinched at the look on her face, knowing somehow what it must mean, and
realizing he had yet something else to apologize for.

“I know that look on your face, Hermione. I hurt you, didn't I? With her?” Hermione tried to
shake her head no, but she knew he wouldn't believe it. They knew each other too well for that
to work, especially now. She nodded instead, and Harry swallowed heavily, a pained look crossing
his face, before he continued in a strained voice.

“I am so sorry. I wish more than anything that I could take it all back. I wish I could go back
to first year and start over with you. I promise to make up for it from now on.” Harry continued
slowly, “I really don't know what I was thinking with all of that, I can't for the life of
me remember one single thing about her that we had in common but Quidditch. It was a complete
disaster, from the beginning to the spectacular explosion that day in Hogsmeade. Speaking of that,
there's something else about that day I want to tell you.”

Harry looked deep into Hermione's eyes then. “I want to thank you, very much, for giving me
the opportunity to tell the world the truth. To tell the world what had really happened, to try to
get the word out that Riddle was back and was going to attack soon. It lifted a huge weight off my
shoulders, and I never thanked you properly for it. I want to thank you for *all* the times
you helped me, *all* the times that you stayed up late to help with homework that I should
have done earlier. All those times when you broke the rules, and even laws, to help me. All the
times when you put your life in danger, to help me. I want to thank you for everything, everything
you've done for me. Thank you, Hermione.”

“I also want to apologize for that stupid “But I don't think you're ugly” comment later
that day too. While it was half true, I didn't and don't think you're ugly, I
didn't tell you how pretty you were then, or how beautiful you are now. So, I'm sorry for
that too.” Harry finished, looking sheepishly at Hermione. She just smiled down at him, her cheeks
flushed with pleasure at his words.

“It's ok Harry; I think you've more than made up for that by now.” Harry gave a small
smile. But, remembering the year he had left, that smile quickly evaporated.

“Now, on to the worst one, Fourth year then, and one might think that I didn't really mess
up all that bad with you that year. But they'd be severely wrong. Who was the *one* person
who stood by me? Who was the *one* person who stuck with me, even when the entire castle
thought I was a glory seeking cheater, including Ron and his insane jealousy?”

Harry continued, softer now, his hands circling her hips, “Who was the *one* person, who
knew, without a doubt, without *ever* questioning it, who *knew* that I hadn't put my
name in the Goblet. That I *hadn't* wanted to be a champion. That I had *never*
wanted to risk my life for money I didn't want or need. For a cup that I could care less about,
especially now, and that I would *never* risk my life for glory and fame that I have
*never* wanted? Who was the *one* person that should have been what I missed the most in
the Second Task? Who was the *one* person, I need most, then and now?” Harry stopped, looking
into the deep brown pools of Hermione's eyes, silently asking her to answer him.

“Me” She whispered

“You, Hermione Jane Granger, my best friend in all the world. You knew it, you *knew*,
beyond any shadow of a doubt, that I would never have put my name in the Goblet of Fire. You knew
without asking, you *knew* it. You were the only person in this entire school who never
*once* asked, never once asked me how I did it. Not even Dumbledore can say that, Hermione.
The first thing he said to me, when I was waiting with the other champions, was if I did it. He
actually asked me Mione, he actually asked me if I had cheated and put my name in the cup. The man
who supposedly cares for me so much that he kept The Prophecy from me for 14 years.”

Hermione's face hardened, her eyes flashed in anger at the Headmaster. *“H**ow dare
he question Harry? How* **dare** *he actually ask him if he had cheated?**”*

Harry's heart sang at the look on her face, that Hermione cared for him so much that she
would be angry at the Headmaster for what he had done. Harry, remembering what happened next, went
on, finally dropping her gaze, unable to look at her anymore, “And then the Yule Ball. I can't
think about that fiasco without feeling so ashamed of myself. It wasn't then, though it was a
really shitty night, but the shame didn't come to me till later.”

Hermione somehow knew what he was going to say, why he felt that way. But she asked anyway, she
wanted to hear the words. “Why were you ashamed Harry? What made you feel that way?” She put her
hand on his cheek, lifting his head so she could see his eyes again. But Hermione wasn't
prepared for the tears in them.

“I am ashamed Hermione, because I never once thought to ask *you* to the ball. Not once,
and the fact that I completely ignored you makes me ashamed. As Ron had so eloquently pointed out
that day, you were a girl. You were a girl that I could have asked. But more importantly, you were
Hermione Granger. You were my *best* *friend*, the *only* girl I could have asked to
the ball and not felt like a complete idiot with, like I did that entire night. You were the
*on**ly* girl I could have gone with and actually had fun with. Even though I didn't
like to dance then, even if we had only danced once, just having you there beside me would have
made that whole night better, that whole night would have been a good memory, instead of one that
makes me want to *Crucio* myself.”

“Instead, I spent all my time chasing after Cho, because of that damn crush I had on her. Not
once seeing the beautiful young woman who was always at my side, who was *always* there for
me, even when I repeatedly wasn't there for her. The one person…who had *never* once given
up on me.” Harry's tears started falling faster then, and again dropped his gaze once more,
unable to look at Hermione anymore. He didn't deserve her, he didn't deserve her
friendship, he didn't deserve her love.

Hermione desperately wanted to keep this next part to herself, but she knew that this was a time
of truths, no matter how painful to either of them. “I won't lie Harry, the fact that you never
thought to ask me to the ball hurt me. I knew Ron wouldn't see me that way, not unless he was
slapped upside the head with it. But I never wanted *him* to, Harry. I had more hope for you;
I knew you had more than the emotional range of a teaspoon.” Hermione tried for humor, but Harry
only gave a hollow laugh that ended in a sob. She forced herself to continue, “But you never did
Harry, so when Viktor finally asked, I agreed to go with him. I didn't think that anyone else
would want to go with me, at least not as a last resort. Not the bushy haired, buck toothed, know
it all.”

Harry's hands on her hips tightened, and she watched him shake his head. He spoke in a
gravelly whisper, “I've never thought of you that way, Hermione. Not once since I've known
you, *never* have I thought of you that way.”

Emotion threatening to overtake her, Hermione pressed on quickly “Before I knew what was
happening, I had told him yes. When inside I was screaming no. I wanted to hear *you* saying
those words. I wanted *you* to see me that way, to see me as more than just your best friend.
But they never came Harry. Not until this year, and not only did you say them to me, but I knew
that this time, I wasn't a last resort. I've felt us getting closer, ever since the
Ministry aftermath.” Hermione leaned into Harry's ear and dropped her voice to a whisper.
“Somehow…I knew, when I woke up and saw you looking down on me, I could feel the change in you
Harry. I could see it in your eyes, those amazing emeralds looking down on me. And it grew from
that moment, and afterward, when you trusted me and only me with your memories. Other than you,
I'm probably the only one who knows completely what happened that night. I thank you so much
Harry, for trusting me with that.”

Hermione pulled back, taking his chin in her hand and raising his eyes to meet her own. She
could see the tears on his face, the pain in his eyes. But she saw something else, the same thing
she saw that day in the Hospital wing, when she opened her eyes and saw him above her, holding her
hand, calling her back from the blackness. *Love*. Hermione could see it in his eyes, Harry
loved her. *“Fi**nally**”* a voice said in her mind, *“H**e finally feels
what I've felt for so long.**”*

Hermione whispered to him now, “As to the rest Harry, none of that really matters, not anymore.
We wouldn't be where we are now if things hadn't happened the way they did. Could things
have been better? I suppose, but they also could have turned out much worse. But I know you Harry;
I know that until I say the words, you'll never allow yourself to do so. So…I forgive you Harry
Potter, for everything.”

Harry looked into her eyes, and he felt the weight, the terrible, soul crushing weight that had
been steadily increasing since that first day on the Hogwarts Express, when he had agreed with Ron
that she was bossy and hoped he wasn't in the same house she was, the weight that had only been
added to every single time he mistreated her, every single time he ignored or took her for granted,
when all she ever tried to do was help him. The horrible weight lifted, and he felt like he could
fly.

“Thank you Hermione, thank you.” Harry couldn't hold it back anymore; he pulled her toward
him and buried his face in her neck, finally letting out the tears that he had held in for so long.
He felt her arms close around him, holding him close to her, her hand running through his hair as
her own tears fell.

They held each other for years; at least it felt that way to Harry. Securely wrapped in her
arms, he never wanted to leave them, never wanted to let her go. He needed her so much; he wanted
her so much…He *loved* her so much. Harry loved Hermione with everything he had in him,
everything and more. And he never wanted to leave her arms again.

Finally, his tears stopped, and as much as he was against it, Harry leaned back and looked at
Hermione. She was so beautiful, even with, or maybe because of, the tears on her face. The tears
for him, for both of them, the tears they shared. He reached a hand up to brush them away, gently.
Hermione did the same for him, brushing his tears away with her small hands. Harry was so touched,
as he always was, that this woman, this *perfect* woman, would actually care for him so much,
he felt his heart swelling with the love he felt for her. And as he looked into her eyes, he saw
that same love looking back at him; he saw the same love on her face as he stroked her cheek,
tenderly now, the tears long gone.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Harry brought his left hand up to her face, while his right moved down
to her hip. He cupped her face in his hand, lightly stroking her cheekbone. He felt both of her
hands on the back his neck, under his jaw. Slowly, ever so slowly, their faces got closer and
closer, Harry's eyes falling closed, just as Hermione's did. And finally, their lips met.
They kissed; and in that kiss they showed all the love they held for each other, the love they had
kept hidden away for so long, they showed it now.

*“**She loves me**,”* Harry thought, right before his brain locked up, and he
simply lost himself in the wonderful, beautiful sensation of kissing Hermione's soft lips.

*“**He loves me,**”* Hermione thought, then her brain blissfully went blank, and
she lost herself completely in the love, *their* love.

Eventually, lack of air forced the new couple apart. A soft moan of loss from both of them
issued from swollen lips. Emerald eyes met Chocolate brown, and Harry said it first.

“I love you, Hermione Jane Granger. I love you so much, and I will never stop loving you, in
this life or the next.” Harry said, his voice filled with emotion.

Hermione blinked back tears, the tears shed after finally hearing what she has wanted to hear
for so long.

“And I love you, Harry James Potter. I love you so much, and I will never stop loving you, in
this life or the next.” Hermione returned his own words, filled with just the same emotion. The
pure happiness that lit their faces shone like a new sun, a full moon on a crystal clear night.
Their lips met again, longer this time. Both of them trying, without words, to show how much they
loved each other. How much they needed each other.

Harry and Hermione stayed that way for a long time, her in his lap on the red loveseat the Room
of Requirement had created for them. They talked little; lips, after all, had many more ways that
they could put to better use.

Finally, they simply held each other, held on like their lives depended on it, and in some way,
it did. Harry and Hermione both knew just how much the other meant to them, just how much the other
was needed in their life. How empty and horrible it would be without the other. It was this thought
that brought Harry back to reality; cold, *terrifying* reality. As Hermione snuggled closer to
him, tucking her head under his chin, he had a horrible thought. Yes, he did tell her many of his
secrets this night, many things he had kept locked away in a box in his heart. But there was one
thing, one very important thing he hasn't told her yet. *Torchwood*, and this time, it
wasn't fear of her feelings being hurt, or fear that she might cry and he not know what to do
about it. This time, it was fear of her leaving him, fear that she would run from him, fear that
she would think he was a monster, fear that she would *hate* him.

And it was this last thought that terrified him the most, he had finally been able to show her
how much he loved her, how much he needed her. But if he told her about Torchwood, and the love she
had for him was crushed, Harry knew that he would die. That there would be nothing left worth
fighting for. He supposed that maybe, just *maybe*, the anger that Riddle had once again
fucked his life up, by forcing him to become something that Hermione hated, that anger at Riddle
might just be enough to keep Harry alive and fighting, but only so he could punish Riddle for
destroying the last Light of his life.

And yet, Harry also knew that he couldn't keep this secret from her any longer. It had been
hard enough to hide it over these last few months. Now that they were a couple? Now that Harry and
Hermione had shared so much of their lives, their secrets with each other? Harry knew that if he
kept it from her any longer, and she somehow found out about it on her own, that it would hurt her
badly. So badly, he thought, she might never forgive him, might finally abandon him. Resigned to
this truth, Harry decided to tell her everything. Starting with how his “saving people thing”
began, and how it had culminated in the birth of Torchwood. Silently commanding the room to bring
back the Pensive that he had once used to share the Ministry battle with her, Harry spoke.

“Mione, there's something I haven't told you yet, something that's very important.
Especially now, now that we've finally gotten together. I need to show you this.”

Hermione opened her eyes, she had been contentedly stroking Harry's chest, but the tone in
his voice made her look at him. Harry had such fear in his eyes, he quickly tried to hide it, but
she knew him too well.

“Harry, you can tell me anything. You know that, you proved it by telling me your deepest,
darkest secrets.” She said with a small smile, which promptly became a frown when he slowly shook
his head.

“I haven't yet actually, not my deepest, darkest. That's what I need to tell you, to
show you.” Harry looked into her eyes with such fear, that it started spreading to her. Hermione
silently wondered what it was that could inspire such fear, and prayed fervently that it
wouldn't destroy the relationship that had just been created.

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